Libraries Have Bottoms
by Maria Parenti-Baldey
Libby’s Library lamented,
‘Where are all the children?’
Her sad-faced books sat idle,
waiting for a hand to hold.
‘When will our Readers arrive?’
chorused the Pages.
‘No one has flicked through us in half-an-hour.’
‘Stop your snivelling,’ said the sour-faced Seats.
‘We don’t want any children coming in the library.
We’re tired of smelly bottoms sitting on us.’
The Seats sat stiff backed and unmoving.
‘Did you know?
If you sit still without sagging or those fidgety didgety kids,
you’ll grow stiff,’ said the Fluorescent lights, ‘and rigor mortis will set in.’
‘We don’t care,’ the Chair Legs replied.
‘It’s hard holding up bothersome bottoms for so long.’
Yes, it was true.
Bottoms were the bane of every Chair.
Often, they wiggled to the right
and wiggled to the left.
Worse was when they dropped a cracker.
Seats can’t hold their breath like those leaf-through pages.
Several seats suffer severely,
almost suffocating, from those frightful fumes.
‘Quit your whinging!’ shrieked the Spines.
‘How would you like toilet-flushing hands holding you?’
‘We sink deep in smelly palms,’ said the Lower Spines.
Some kids don’t even wash their hands.’
The Chairs moved uncomfortably,
not knowing which direction to look.
They sat without a murmur.
‘Alert! Alert! Toilet hands arriving,’ the Books gasped squirming.
‘But, most hands smell like oranges and lemons,’
purported the End Papers.
‘I have laid in hands as soft as cushions,’
the Front Covers concurred.
The Back Cover gave a hearty chuckle,
‘There have been times we have nearly fallen asleep.’
‘I don’t know what you’re complaining about Chairs,’ said the Shelves.
‘We’re the ones holding up the Books, 24/7.
Books are far heavier than any bottoms.
A few odd smells every now and then,
during school hours is inconsequential.’
‘As for you Spine, you can’t smell a thing,
Laminate is always protecting you.’
‘The Library is Now Open,’ the Loud Speaker announced.
Libby’s Library Doors opened.
The children came rushing…
‘Ahh! I love these soft comfortable chairs,’ said a boy.
‘Yeh! Not like those hard-plastic ones in class,’ said another.
The Chairs puffed up their cushions.
‘It’s so hot outside.’
‘Yeah, I’m glad the library is airconditioned.’
The Library will close in six minutes.
Remember - Tidy up and put away all those special things.’
The Lego somersaulted into their trays.
The Snakes and Ladders slithered into their boxes.
The Books pulled the kids towards the Borrowing Desk.
The Chairs sighed.
The Spines tingled.
The Endpapers flapped.
The Front and Back Covers closed…
all, without a bottom in sight.